A reader wrote me asking what I thought about revenge cheating.
Don't do it!
It will not yield happy results. It's already a heartache to have been cheated on. But now is the time for you to take the high road of life. If you are a woman perhaps the most painful outcome is an unplanned pregnancy with someone you are not in a real marriage with. (Want to see what that looks like? Check out the TV show "Paternity Court" to see that pain.)
In life, giving people a "taste of their own medicine" will only backfire. People don't see their own reflections in others. (Hint: this is a powerful tool for personal growth but it is not for the faint of heart or those who enjoy being victims.) The way you can look at yourself in the mirror for the rest of your life is most important of all. You are hurt. Your hurt is real and deserves action and effort to heal. Revenge sex doesn't heal anything, it just complicates the situation even more.
There are experts who are compassionate about healing marriages where there has been cheating. Sometimes the damage can not be repaired. Sometimes the best thing to do is get out, heal, and begin again anew. How can you measure if you should stay or go? Of course that can't be answered on blog, you'll need to do an assessment of your marriage. (The three big deal breakers are abuse, addiction, and adultery.) Hopefully, you will consult with one or two people who are in successful, long-term marriages.
For more information I would recommend listening to Esther Perel. Filter what you need to and keep what is relevant to you and your relationship. The video below has over seven million views!
Author of ten books, teacher, and international speaker, Laya has helped thousands of people. She has a masters degree in Applied Psychology. You can see more of her writing at her websites: www.AuntLaya.com and www.NurturingWomen.com